weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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