I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
