he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
