there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
