How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
