I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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