Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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