$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
