they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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