His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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