I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize