I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
