I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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