You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
