I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
