He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
