I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
