"it" just moved
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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