she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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