I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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