The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
