my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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