I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
His nipple licking is glorious
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