I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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