accomplished twins. life is a go
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
