My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
