She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
