Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
