Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
