there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
