Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
