either way he was missing a nipple.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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