I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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