I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
