You made me cry and you don't even care
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize