She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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