Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
