you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
