Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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