I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
