He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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