I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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