new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
