Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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