today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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