physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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