Someone shit on the floor
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
