I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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