I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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