6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
