why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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