I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
