Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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