well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
