i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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