actually, I'm a sock model
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize