I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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