Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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