i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize