today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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