all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
