Do you still have your period?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize