I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
