U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
