just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize