So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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