The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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