I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
