Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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