I wish I could punch you in the face.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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