I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
